Driving Life with Mindfulness

We get moments of frustration in our life. Sometimes we want to rest while the office or the family situation does not allow us to rest. Some other times, we want to move fast while the circumstances hold us back. Sometimes we want to live in harmony and the situations make us run from pillar to post. Like is like driving a car. Sometimes, we want to rush while the car is stuck in a jam to our frustration. Sometimes, we want to drive slowly while the vehicles from behind start blowing the horn to force us to drive faster. Sometimes, we are driving at a uniform speed and suddenly we see the speed breakers. 

Like driving, life too is full of all kinds of frustration. Sometimes, we are able to drive as per our wish while most of the time, it depends on a lot of factors like the road, weather conditions, fellow drivers, the condition of the car, traffic rules, etc. Similarly, we want to live life our own way. However, most of the time, in situations and circumstances, family members, friends, and colleagues, our own health conditions, rules of society, etc all decide how we live life.

A question arises whether our satisfaction or frustration actually depends upon the circumstances? On the surface, it appears so. Let's dive a bit deeper into the issue. Why are we frustrated or anxious? The simple reason is that we have made up our minds to drive slow or fast or at a constant speed. When the situations do not allow us, we feel frustrated or anxious. A good driver has no fixed notions about speed. He decides then and there. If he experiences a traffic jam, he shifts to the first or the second gear to slow down the speed and uses his navigation skills to navigate through the jam. If he finds a free road, with no speed limit, he puts his foot on the accelerator and enjoys the speed. If the road allows driving at a particular speed, he maintains the speed and drives. Driving with fixation to any of these may be quite unsafe as well as frustrating.

Similarly, we get frustrated in life if we get fixated on likes or dislikes; rights, or wrongs. The moment circumstances or friends or family members or colleagues or society forces us to live against these likes or rights, we get frustrated. A wise person is one whose entire focus remains on living (like driving). He will find the ways and means to navigate the worst of the jam, will be able to drive at a fast speed when the road is free, and will equally enjoy driving at a constant speed. Wisdom brings the presence of mind to the current moment. That is called mindfulness. Mind, rather than being stuck on some like or dislike; right or wrong, is completely attentive in the present moment. That allows it to appreciate and enjoy the totality of the experience. It makes the moment fulfilling. The more moments of fulfillment in our life and the more happy we feel. 

The focus of a wise person is on the process and not the outcome. It is driving that is enjoyable for him and not the speed of driving or the roads he is driving on or the vehicle he is driving with or the weather conditions or the traffic rules. With this clarity of mind, the entire focus shifts to driving, and the mind of free of wavering into the past or future. Similarly, if we focus on the task at hand in our life, rather than the outcomes or circumstances, we enjoy even in the worst of situations.

Probably we confuse happiness with pleasure. We get pleased with the achievement of an outcome. The more value we create in our mind for the outcome and more we get pleased with its achievement. For example, A falls in love with B. They both want to marry desperately. While there is another person C who does not want to marry. Now A, B, and C marry. The outcome is the same, while its meaning for all of them will be quite different. While A and B will be quite pleased with the marriage, C will be quite sad or indifferent. Similarly, we create the value of different outcomes in our life based on the feedback and inputs from our peers, friends, family, and society. This entire value exists only in the mind. 

Happiness is an entirely different phenomenon. It is a state of being. We feel happy when are connected to our inner being. That connection comes with freedom. The moment, we are stuck with any like or dislike, right or wrong, the inner connection is gone. With these fixations, our attention gets stuck on that like or dislike, right or wrong. As we get rid of these fixations, our attention is free to connect to the inner being which takes control of our attention. In this state, there is a significant shift in the mindset. Problems start appearing like challenges. Handling challenges becomes fun and a source of happiness. 

Sometimes, we may feel that it is only the drivers who face difficulties. Let's see whether it is true. Pilots are also made to wait on runways for hours. They also have to follow the air aviation rules strictly. Why do only pilots, bureaucrats, politicians, teachers, doctors, hawkers, and everybody else in this world has to operate in a particular ecosystem? Nobody is free. I have experienced most of the bureaucrats crying all the time for postings and transfers. I have seen politicians and businessmen being frustrated. There are satisfied and dissatisfied people in each profession and occupation. 

Those who have a focus on driving are always happy while the ones with fixation to the speed or the destination are generally frustrated and anxious. They may temporarily appear to be pleased so long the circumstances support the. The moment favorable circumstances are gone, they become anxious and restless. On the other hand, the happiness of a person who is inwardly connected is not dependent on the circumstances.