The givers and the takers

There are two types of people in this world. First being givers and the second being takers. The givers are generally busy giving in all their relations, such as family, friendship, organizations, and community. The takers are busy taking at all these places.

We see giver kids in every family helping the parents with the daily chores. They are sensitive towards the needs of others and keep trying to help others whether asked explicitly or not for such help. Such kids generally try to go the extra mile to help their community and relatives. In the social functions, they are the ones who are on the front when any help is required. In the family, they are the first ones to compromise their comfort as and when there is any need.

On the other hand, taker kids are just obsessed with their comforts and targets. If they want to rest, nobody can make them work. While reading their books, they become so obsessed with reading that they become quite oblivious to the silent cry for help from a tired parent. When these kids join the organizations, they become obsessed with their promotions and increments and remain quite insensitive towards the needs of others. In marriages, they become quite insensitive towards the emotional needs of their spouse. In communities also, they are just concerned about the fun they are obsessed with. Their life is all about me and myself.

The fun part is that both these species feel exploited by each other. While the givers get tired of giving, the takers still feel that they are not getting sufficient. That's a strange phenomenon. I have often wondered why it happens so. Probably, it is all about the center of life and expectations. The givers center their lives around social validation while the takers around pleasure. It's actually a win-win situation. The givers get all the praises of being good and the takers get all the material pleasures and comforts. 

However, the equilibrium is disturbed when the takers and givers become greedy and the givers want pleasure also or the takers want social validation also. The problem also arises when the takers get used to taking and take what they are getting for granted. Nineteen out of twenty things are taken for granted and the one thing they do not get becomes a cause of irritation. They feel that they are not being treated properly. Similarly, sometimes the givers feel that their efforts are not being well appreciated and they want more and more appreciation for their giving. 

I feel that giving and taking are both quite selfish ways of living. The selfishness where the selfish does not know what real selfishness is. Giving and taking are both motivated by the desire to get fulfillment. Both are equally thirsty. The givers want to quench their thirst with water (social validation) and the takers want to quench their thirst with juice (materialistic pleasures). The more they try to quench their thrust, the more thirsty they feel because they are all the time running in a hot dry desert to get the water or the juice without realizing that the more they run, and more thirsty they are going to feel.

While in this race, it is probably almost impossible to make a halt and see that running itself is the cause of thirst. The moment we relax, the thirst disappears. The more they run the more thirsty they feel. Meditation gives us a good break from the race. A break wherein we can observe the nature and cause of this thirst. It helps us recalibrate and recenter our life. It helps us examine the true nature of our desires. However, the real challenge is to come back to the world and remain in that meditative mode while playing the game of life.