Two "I"s

Each one of us has two "I"s. The first one is the crybaby who always seeks attention. It has the nature of getting fixated on one or the other thing. So long as it keeps getting what it desires, it is quite happy and as soon as there is a threat of not getting or losing what it desires, it starts crying. The crybaby in different human beings gets fixated on different things. It may be fixated on a particular grade in the examination, selection for a particular job, acceptance of friendship by another individual, social recognition, grades in the annual reports, appreciation by the boss, promotion, a particular assignment, an award, likes on the social media, number of followers on social media, a particular position, or intellectual achievement. Its fixations have endless possibilities, starting from tasty food to walking on the moon. 

The crybaby may get fixated on one or more of these fixations. Sometimes the number of fixations is more but the degree of fixation on a particular thing is less. On the other hand, sometimes it is fixated on very few things but the degree of fixation is quite high. It may also happen that it is fixated on many things and the degree of fixated with each is quite high. 

So long as the crybaby gets what it wants, it is quite happy. The more it gets the things it wants the more fixated it becomes. So long as the circumstances keep supporting the possession, it remains happy and as soon as it faces adverse circumstances, it becomes sad. The sadness is reflected in different forms. Sometimes in the form of irritation and other times anger and in extreme cases anxiety, depression, and aggression.

The crybaby acts on the principles of gravity. As gravity between two objects is directly proportionate to the mass of the objects and reverse proportionate to the distance between the two. Similarly, the fixation of this crybaby with a particular thing is directly proportionate to the "stickiness of the crybaby" and the "attraction of the object". Some of the crybabies are by nature more prone to fixation and like a velcro attract every fabric around. This world is full of all types of attractions open for sale. These crybabies like the velcro keep getting attracted to one or the other objects as soon as they come in contact with the object. They remain away from that fixation only so long as there is a distance, mental as well as physical, between the crybaby and the object of desire. 

There is another "I" within all of us. This "cosmic I" understands the transient nature of all the objects in this material world and therefore it is not fixated on any of these transient objects. It can see through the objects and things around to their core. It knows that the division between different bodies is quite transient and each one of us has the same underlying source. Since it can peer through the forms, it knows that oneness among different beings. It knows that different beings have taken form from the same source as different stars and planets have emerged from the same consciousness that existed in the form of a "dot" before the Big Bang. 

However, this "cosmic I" has a very quiet voice. It can not be listened to in a noisy environment. As stars are always present in the sky but difficult to watch in the brightness of the city, we are unable to listen to that silent voice due to the loud voice of the crybaby. The more we try to ignore the crybaby the more forcefully it attracts us. It will create all types of drama to draw our attention till we fulfill its demands. Sometimes, some of us visit a silent valley as a tourist and get so attracted by the peace that we decide to leave the cities and settle down in the mountains. Similarly, sometimes we get to meet the "cosmic I" and get so tempted by its sweet silent voice that slowly we get attracted more and more towards it, and the loud voice of the crybaby becomes more and more unbearable.