Responsibility

Most of us carry a lot of responsibilities in our lives. We have the responsibilities of our family, friends, organizations, and society. Sometimes, we feel overburdened with these responsibilities. The burden increases to an extent that at times we develop a strong craving to be free from our responsibilities. I often wonder as to who has bound us and whom are we seeking freedom from. Are we not always free and aren't these responsibilities the creation of our minds?

Some will argue that if all the responsibilities are the creation of our mind, why don't we all be set free and what will happen to society if all of us are set free of the responsibilities? Won't the entire society go for a toss? Won't there be chaos everywhere?

Can we examine a little deeper to examine what responsibility really is? What does it mean to be responsible in a relationship? Does it mean to keep the partner pleased at whatever the cost? What if the partner starts exploiting physically? Probably, the answer would be quite straight in such cases, one should leave the partner and one is no longer responsible. This is because we can clearly see the danger to life.

What if the partner wants to exploit verbally? For example, the partner is often aggressive while speaking and argues his points without much logic and dominates the partner with his arguments. Here some may say that it happens in every relationship and one should tolerate the same. Some may say that one should not at all tolerate and break off the relationship. Thus, we may have divided opinions here, however still most of us would agree that even verbal exploitation should not be tolerated and it does not fit into the definition of responsibility to continue with such a foul relationship.

Let's take the next example. If the partner treats us well physically and verbally but exploits us emotionally. For example, the partner does not treat with dignity makes one feel inferior, or makes fun. Even in such situations again, most people would still say that one is not responsible for carrying out such relationships and the advisable course of action is to move away from the relationship.

What if the partner does not exploit at all, and rather treats one absolutely well, but he has a different purpose in life that does not make any sense to us? In that case, probably most of us would say that try to work on the intersection and slowly try to increase that by exploring each other more. What if after all the efforts, one finds that both partners are quite different and have different purposes in life? In that case, what is responsibility? Should they continue together or they should separate? The answer to this question becomes equity tricky.

If we deeply introspect, probably, the way there is so much clarity in the first three situations in the minds of most people is because, as a society, we have put a lot of premium on survival. We would never accept if somebody kills another person. However, we would very easily accept if somebody kills the dreams of others. That somehow flows from our own understanding of life. Our own understanding of life is so narrow. For most of our life, we just seem to secure survival. Gather more and more money to have good food, clothes, and nice comfortable homes. We want to earn more and more money to have more and more of these things to have better quality food, branded clothes, and luxury homes. At best we think of securing these things even for the next generation. Some of us seek this security in money while others seek it in power and positions. Both are just two sides of the same coin.

Once we get a decent quantity and quality of such things, we have nothing to look forward to in life. There are only two possible ways in that situation. Either we make the brain dull so that it does not at all think about all these rubbish things. So we start taking liquor or drugs or any other form of intoxication to make the mind dull. Or, we create something to keep this brain artificially busy. We have created video games to keep the ginnie occupied. Social functions and interactions are no better than the videogames. In fact, I find it so funny that so many people meet at social functions and spend hours discussing people and life at such a shallow level which feels no better than wasting time on video games.

Few realize that the human brain and human life have far greater purpose and they start exploring nature in different ways. They become scientists, astronauts, travelers, mountaineers, oceanologists, climatologists, and scholars in different streams of life. Some of them start creating different art pieces, writing books, singing songs, and playing music by getting connected to the divine. They manifest the divine in different forms.

This broadens the perspective of life. The purpose of life no longer remains just survival. Rather, it becomes expansion. The divine wants to explore its own potential through its own creation viz the human mind. That restricts survival to just a need. This body and mind is required to explore like a tool and the tool has to be just taken care of. The end purpose of farming is not to take care of the tools but rather to use the tools to get a good crop. That changes the entire understanding of responsibility.

Responsibility is no longer limited to just surviving and helping the partner survive. Rather one feels responsible for one's own growth and the growth of the partner. Relationships are not to make each other narrow. They are not to pull each other down. Rather they are to set each other free to fly. To extend a hand to the partner to fly. To understand and realize the infinite possibilities that may be explored with this body and mind. Not to get cocooned in survival, luxurious survival, or powerful survival and wasting time in either virtual or social games. With exploration into nature comes the responsibility to help the partner explore these things too.

As a person gets connected to the divine, he experiences absolute freedom. With this freedom, he chooses responsibility towards the partner to set him also free. In that state of awareness, responsibility is not a burden, rather it is a conscious choice. Without the experience of freedom, responsibility seems to be just a social compulsion. A game of give and take always calculating whether one has given more or has taken more. Love brings absolute responsibility. However, the same love also gives the courage to leave. In a state of awareness, one's love for the divine is absolute and no attachment to the matter, including the attachment to the self-image of being "responsible" can keep one away from the Divine. If the partner is willing to travel together, it is fine. Else one is happy to walk alone.